“Sex is when a man puts his penis inside a woman’s vagina and hits it continuously.”

Before our Social Studies’ teacher made that statement, she and our Math teacher had been arguing in hushed tones in front of the class. “Do you think they’re old enough to know?” “They’re in J.S 3. I’m sure some of them are curious already and besides, they’ll soon be going to Senior School.” “So best to tell them before they learn it the wrong way?” “Exactly!”

I sit in one of the desks in the front roll so I could hear them but I had no idea what they wanted to tell us about. I turn to look at Mamman sitting next to me (he’s one of my best friends) and he has a bland expression on his face. If not for the faint crease on his forehead, I would’ve guessed he knew what the teacher was talking about.

I look around the classroom at more of my friends and they all have furrowed eyebrows. Thank goodness I’m not the only one who doesn’t understand this.

“The man then releases what we call sperm into the vagina which travels to the uterus and mixes with the woman’s egg. And that is how a child is made. The woman gets pregnant and nine months later, the child is born,” our Math teacher adds.

I didn’t know the process was that difficult. I had no clue how the babies found their way into their mothers’ stomachs and I never gave it any serious thought. But I honestly thought pregnant women shat their babies out. Through the anus—yes! It turns out I was wrong.

Nothing more is said on sex education and our Social Studies’ teacher leaves after teaching and giving us assignment on Human Trafficking and Child Labour. It’s Long Break and my friends and I converge in the corridor.

I expected everyone to be curious about the sex revelation like we always are when we discover new topics or learn new things but they all seem to be avoiding it like a plague. I have this prickly feeling that this topic is too sensitive for both genders to discuss. Maybe even a taboo.

So when I get home, eleven-year-old me wants to ask my mother what sex is but my mouth won’t open.

“What is it nah?” My mother prods me impatiently. I shake my head and walk away.

I undress and go into the bathroom. Unlike my friends: Tina, Mercy and Ify, my chest is still very flat and I haven’t started menstruating yet. I look at my masculine body in the full mirror. I don’t even have pubic hair like my mother. Only my earrings make me a girl. My head is shaved low like Mamman’s. Obviously, I’m still too young to be talking about sex so I give it up and have a cold bath while my mum yells at me to be fast so my younger sister who just came back from school can have her bath too.

Curiosity gets the better of me and while I’m about to walk out of the bathroom draped in my towel, I stop at the mirror again. If penises go into vaginas, then that means that the vagina is….a hole! I’ve never noticed a hole before. Maybe I should check. So I lift my leg up to the side of the mirror and pull my towel to my waist.

I stare at my vagina in the mirror like I’m seeing it for the first time. I need to find that hole. So I spread my lips with both hands. I see a small pointy spot where I’ve watched urine gush out from a million times and some pinky layers of soft skin below. No hole. Or is it where I pee that the penis enters. Isn’t the hole too tiny? Are penises that small? No. I shake my head and drop my leg. I saw our neighbour’s newborn son and his penis looked too big to fit in my peeing hole, as small as it was. So I’m guessing when boys grow older, their penises grow bigger too. Oh God, I’m so confused.

I hear my mum shout my name and it dawns on me that I have spent more time than I should have in the bathroom. I retie my towel and step out. I’m sure I’ll figure this out when the time is right.