The dictionary defines the tongue as a muscular, fleshy organ in the mouths of mammals, used for taste, licking, swallowing, and articulating speech in humans. However, in the context of building trust, relationships, and friendships, the tongue serves a far more significant purpose. It is a crucial element for detecting red flags in communication.

An Igbo proverb states, “Okwu mmadu kwuru bu uche ya ahuru anya,” meaning that it is difficult to see what someone has in mind or heart, but their thoughts can be understood through the words they speak. Our reasoning and rationality are often measured by the words and utterances produced by the tongue, making it the ultimate tool for building trust. Consider how a psychologically ill person speaks; their speech can reveal the state of their mental health, often more than their appearance.

In friendships and relationships, which are advanced forms of communication, verbal interaction is paramount. Face-to-face conversations are often more valued than text messages. This is because tone and inflection convey mood and emotional state, allowing for empathetic responses. 

The fluctuations and inconsistencies in one’s speech, in contrast to their actions, illustrate how the tongue can be used to assess moral character and discipline.

When can you say that a person is cunning? “Onye nwere ire abuo.” It is often the contradictions between one’s agreements, disagreements, opinions, and promises that reveal the consistency or inconsistency of one’s character.

Through utterances, you can discern a person’s true character. For instance, if a friend threatens, “I will do the unexpected,” you should not be surprised when they actually follow through, right? Conversely, if you both agree on something, and the person says, “Yes, let’s do this,” but ultimately disappoints you, that is indeed a breach of trust. 

While human behaviour can be unpredictable and influenced by mood, such behaviour resulting from challenges, is often temporary; one’s core character usually prevails and remains visible. 

If you are someone who cannot keep simple promises, how can I trust you with my life, my challenges, successes, and aspirations? Why, then, should I confide in you as a friend? If you find yourself unable to keep a promise, is it not better to explain the situation rather than wait for them to remind you? 

To foster trust, always consider the principle “do to others what you would want them to do to you.” By doing so, your tongue will not merely be an organ for eating, licking, and swallowing, but one that earns the trust of your friends.

I strongly believe that the tongue is an essential tool for building trust in relationships. It reflects one’s character and helps friends determine whom they can confide in and trust. 

While the tongue may sometimes lie, actions will always reveal the truth. Therefore, pay more attention to people’s actions rather than their words, as actions ultimately define trustworthiness.

Thanks for reading…. 

Written by Impeccable 💖