I always wanted a shoulder to cry on.

Not necessarily a physical shoulder, but someone I could run to whenever things got difficult. Someone I could rant to and get all the comfort I needed. Someone I could tell everything without worrying about being judged.

And then, alas, I got disappointed.

I was heartbroken. I was like, Why? You've been my safe space. Why would you disappoint me?

But then, I realised something.

You were just human.

Yes, you were just human. And that made me realise that I couldn't blame you. You are human, and humans will sometimes do what humans do. There is a limit to what one person can carry. There is a limit to what another human being can give.

And somehow, that disappointment taught me something I didn't know I needed to learn.

Humans can be a safe place, but they were never meant to be our ultimate safe place.
I had spent so much time looking for a safe place in people that I forgot I already had one.

I thought I had to find Him.
But He had been there all along, patiently waiting for me to notice Him.

And do you know who that was?

God.

I thought I had lost my safe space when people disappointed me, but it only opened my eyes to the One who had been there all along.

Every tear I cried.

Every disappointment I carried.

Every unanswered question.

Every moment I felt alone.

He was still there.

Faithfully. Quietly. Patiently.

Waiting for me to stop searching everywhere else and simply rest in Him.

It wasn't that Christ suddenly became my safe space.

He had always been my safe space.

I was just too busy looking everywhere else to realise that the safest place had been walking beside me all this time.

And there are days when I don't even know how to pray.
You don't know what to say. You don't know what to ask for. You just sit there with your tears, your confusion and your silence.

And somehow, even there, God listens.

You can rant all you want with Him. You can tell Him everything. You can sit there and say, “God, I don't understand what is happening.” You can cry. You can ask questions. You can tell Him you're tired.

And He is still there.

No judgement.

Just you, being completely yourself before Him.

And I think that's what makes a safe space truly safe.

The safest place isn't necessarily where nobody hurts you.

It is where you can come exactly as you are and still be loved.

Humans can be safe spaces, but they were never meant to carry the entire weight of our hearts. They can get tired. They can misunderstand us. They can disappoint us. They can have their own battles too.
And that doesn't always mean they don't love us.

Sometimes, it simply means they are human.

When the people I leaned on could no longer carry the weight of my heart, I discovered the One who had been carrying me all along.
And then it hit me.

Christ wasn't becoming my safe space.

He had always been my safe space.

I was just looking everywhere else for the peace that only He could give.

There is a song I've been listening to in Hausa. “Tare, muna tare, tare da Yesu.”
I used to think it was just a beautiful song.
But now, I understand it differently.

I am not alone. Christ is with me.

And suddenly, those words felt different.

Because maybe that's what I've been trying to understand all along.

I am not alone.

Even when people leave.

Even when people disappoint me.

Even when I don't understand what is happening.

Even when I feel like I have nobody to talk to.

I am not alone.

Christ is with me.

And you know what?

He has been there all along.

Maybe you've also spent so much time looking for your safe space in people that you've forgotten about the One who has always been there.

Maybe you've been disappointed and you're wondering, “Who do I run to now?”

Run to Him.

Talk to Him.

Rant if you have to.

Cry if you need to.

Tell Him everything.

You don't have to have the perfect words.

Just come.

Because people may disappoint us. They are human. But that disappointment can sometimes open our eyes to something we had overlooked for so long.

The One who has always been there.

The One who has been walking with us.

The One who has been listening.

The One who has been carrying us.

The One who never left.

So, no matter how lonely life feels sometimes, remember this:

You are not alone.

You have never walked alone.
Christ has been there all along.

And He will still be there, every step of the way. ❤️