The red mark on my script from Dr. Ezekiel ripped my heart off It was like a dagger that stabbed both my soul and my spirit after a long hour of studying to present a proposal to him. I thought it would win, but I did at last.

This was four years I had walked on the tarred road of the University of Nigeria, Nsukka, as most departmental blocks had admired my silhouette on them during the scorching sun. Guess where I was? In the Nnamdi Azikiwe Library. One of the many things I feared as an undergraduate who would one day come into the final lap of his academic journey was project writing—it wasn't a child's play.

I have always loved reading texts, articles, or listening to podcasts that talk about gender issues, psychological trauma, and the Japa syndrome common to Nigerian youths, but to get a topic from this vast field for my project work was a journey of a thousand miles. Every section of the library got familiar with the scent of my cologne as most staff memorized my name like the Lord's prayer. No topic resonated with me and I had none in mind, but I was sure of what I wanted to talk about—it was Queer— but I had mixed feelings, “what if it were rejected as a non-normative discourse?” My sanity faded into shadows and I took a month's rest in the pool of conundrum. I was restlessly restful.

This wasn't the first time I did research work, but I couldn't understand the esoteric feeling that shivered down my spine at any remembrance of having a project to do. I queried my ability and competence as I stood in front of the mirror where my fear intertwined with my reality.

Davison, my best friend, salted the injury with his good bad news of being in Chapter Two when I had never gotten a topic. My chin grinned, but my mouth never showed a thirty-six. He loved ecocritical discourse and it wasn't possible to suggest a text for my niche, but he did nonetheless. He referred me to his friend who recommended one of Tendai Huchu's reads, and I opted for it. It was a great joy, but a commencement of intellectual combat.

Tenaciously, I started surfing the internet in search of relatable articles for the topic I was writing about. My eyes were widened at each new theory I had never come across, diverse perspectives and rationality and this was one thing that fueled my doggedness to do it myself and it paid off. From a naive step, I rested in mastery as it opened international gigs.