While the war was just a chant on television screens, and amateur choreography of heavily bearded men in uniform, mother made me promise to keep my siblings safe and together.

I nodded without any idea of the weight of her words or what would be expected of me.

When it finally rained bullets and bombs, father was the only adult around.

Mother was at work when the first blast hit our neighbourhood. While flames rose to the sky, father gathered us into the bunker beneath our house, but our youngest had broken free, in search of mama.

" Stay," papa said and turned on his heels.

We could hear the distant echoes of shots. Every time one of the houses around took a hit, hubris would drizzle in.

Panic set our hearts aflame. Especially mine. 

Although Papa had said we should stay, I had promised our mother that I would keep my siblings safe and together.

Like a hero in a Chinese movie, I dodged planks and nails and burning clothes. Peeping through smoke and suffocating dust.

I never found him. Soma was nowhere in the house.

The neighbourhood looked bizarre. The air was unsettling. I could feel something heavy on my chest. 

I retracted to the bunker. I had to make sure my other two siblings were safe. I got there and met three.

Happiness clouded my eyes only a second before Soma dropped the bombshell that would sink my boat.

“ Where's papa?”

I snapped at each of them, hoping it wasn't what I thought. He couldn't have gone after me. 

But he did.

Years of feeling unloved got deleted from my mind. It distilled in the mist in my eyes. I fought back my tears to stay strong. That was how he raised me.

Together with my siblings, I waited. Eyes brimming, chest tightening. 

" What will I do if he doesn't return?" I asked myself a million times.

As if they read my mind, my siblings rounded my shoulders and Soma buried his head in my bosom.

The air cleared and the roars stilled, but none of our parents made it back.

I gathered my siblings together just the way our parents would have wanted. We were safe. Keeping them together became the duty I undertook with a heavy heart. It was the only way I could pay back our father's love, and our mother's undying care.