It has always been a trigger for me, you spoke to me the morning before your death , and you begged me to pick your video call but I told you I was not going to I'm busy…

 we just spoke on phone for a while and before the call ended you said I will beg you oneday to hear your voice and see your face ,but you will do me “yanga”and I said in your dreams lol and we laughed over it ,we were having exams the next day  but u wanted swimming, and I told you to leave it and read …

I wish I stopped you or even picked your video call maybe I would have convinced you not to....my 18th birthday was coming soon and you told me you had something special for me,you weren't here for my 18th ,you promised to be at my graduation even if  it clashed with yours, you missed it ,you said you had plans for my 20th birthday I will soon be 20 and you will still not be here....I will give anything to hve  a physical conversation with you and hug u one last time

Lol I remember hw eager u were for me to meet your mum , and when I did she was the sweetest,you introduced me to your sister and made me her school mum,i love her .

I haven't gone to pay my last respect to were You were laid ,I haven't brought myself to do that ,but I promise I will,I'm still making peace with the fact u are not with me, and wen I do visit you,we are going to have a long talk …

You are going to get tired of me talking,but for nw I will keep writing letters to you every month about all I want to tell you,that has been my therapy and way of finding solace,and I promise to go visit mum soon.

I miss you every passing day…I love you can't wait to reunite with you Nan ❤️