“Everything i want wants me more”

Yes! But after analyzing my behavior, choices, character, attitudes and my overall lifestyle. I've come to the conclusion that I don't really want the things I want .. because if I did, instead of looking at my phone for 22.6 hours, I would have read 5 chapters of my 'Think and Grow Rich' and instead of staring blankly at my ceiling, imagining the life I want, which I won't have if I don't get up and get something done, I would have cleaned my room and done some exercise. 

Why do I make life hard for myself?