You see, that day ehn, I was already seeing myself on Forbes magazine cover. No jokes. In my mind, I don blow. As that woman handed me the small plastic container, e be like say she was giving me my future. I held it gently, like fragile destiny. She smiled, adjusted her wrapper and said, “Rub it morning and night after baffing, in three days you go glow. Abeg bring me more customers.”

I no even argue. I just nodded and jejely said, “No wahala ma.” But inside my mind, plans were loading. I don already arrange how to pepper all my haters. Classic oppression with a sprinkle of ‘God did.’ I couldn’t wait for people to ask, “babe, which cream you dey use?” Then I’ll just smile like ‘mind your business’ and cook up one sweet reply. Every girl understands that coded pride.

Fast forward, I reach house. After baffing, I opened the container. First thing that hit me—*this thing small o*. But they say good thing no dey big, abi? No problem. I dipped my finger and applied small. As I rub am, one toxic smell just choke me small, but I told myself, “That’s how original things be. If e no burn, e no pure.” I even smiled like one princess wey dey prepare for her big wedding.

But God of mercy.

Next morning, na confusion land me slap. Wetin be this? Red balls everywhere. Big, shiny, swollen pimples like roasted groundnut hanging on my face. Chai! I carry mirror look myself, I almost greet my ancestors. This was not the plan. This was not what we agreed.

Where is the glow? Where is the smoothie skin? Where is my ₦600? Yes, I will say it because that’s my hard-earned money. Now, instead of being asked “babe, what’s your skincare routine?” people dey ask, “wetin happen to your face?” And I will start one long story of five minutes about how I fell for market scam. Shame nearly finish me.

The worst part? These new balls are stubborn. They renew themselves every morning. Great is their faithfulness. I should have just stayed loyal to my good old soap and water. I even blamed myself a thousand times. No NAFDAC number, no label, no ingredients, nothing. Na cruise carry me go where I no know.

But sha, life no end. These caterpillars and fat pimples wey don disgrace me will see pepper. I’ve now switched to natural remedies and proper skincare from certified dermatologists. Lesson learnt the hard way. Next time, I will shine my eye.

For now, me and my face are on a journey of redemption.