Are you familiar with the emotion of love? Maybe you are, but this love I'm talking about is a different love - a love that is not meant to exist. Love can be so unfair, why will it spring up in an adverse environment, of course it cannot bloom.

I met her when I had no need for love. I met her and I had no intention of loving her, it was just late night conversations and heartfelt laughter. However, life has a way of being unpredictable and before I knew it, my chest began to hurt whenever she was unavailable. My mind began to race whenever I had reason to believe she wasn't feeling alright. I fought so hard to resist it but eventually, I had to admit. I had fallen in love with this angel.

It's been over six months and it seems that this love cannot thrive. She's about five years older than I am and she has her future ahead of her while I'm still a struggling student. I don't want to hold her back with a relationship that will most likely lead to nowhere. I know she loves me but this time, we have to think with our heads, not our hearts.

She thinks she isn't good enough for me, that I deserve someone better who will be near me and won't put me through so much stress. She asked for space recently as she needs to think for herself and make the best decision for her future. Deep down, I know she loves me but past heartbreaks and relationships have made it hard for her to embrace the possibility of genuine love without fear of disappointment. I'll give her all the time she needs.

Even if it takes five years and I meet her again, and there's no ring on her finger, I'll still love her like the first day I met her. If there's a ring of that finger however, I'll love her even more, but from a painful and heart-wrenching distance. First loves die hard.