I remember being younger and thinking adults had everything figured out.

If something was bothering me, I assumed I was supposed to know how to handle it. If I was afraid, I thought I needed to be brave. If I made a mistake, I thought I had to learn from it quickly and move on.

Nobody really tells you that growing up doesn't automatically teach you how to understand yourself.

You can become an adult and still have moments when you wish someone would sit beside you and say, “It's okay. You don't have to have everything figured out.”

As I grew older, I started noticing certain things about myself.

I wanted reassurance but sometimes struggled to ask for it. I wanted to be understood but didn't always know how to explain what I was feeling. I wanted to be confident, but there were moments when one person's criticism could make me question everything I thought I knew about myself.

And then I realised something.

Maybe growing up isn't just about becoming older.

Maybe it's about becoming the person you once needed.

So I started learning to talk to myself differently.

When I make a mistake, I try not to immediately call myself a failure.

When I don't understand something, I remind myself that learning takes time.

When I'm exhausted, I try to rest without feeling guilty.

When something doesn't feel right, I'm learning that I don't have to keep tolerating it simply because I'm afraid of disappointing people.

And when I achieve something, no matter how small, I'm learning to celebrate it instead of immediately moving on to the next thing.

I'm still learning.

I still have days when I doubt myself. I still have moments when I wish someone would tell me exactly what to do. I still have things I'm trying to unlearn.

But perhaps that's the point.

Becoming the person you needed growing up doesn't mean becoming perfect.

It means becoming kinder to yourself.

It means giving yourself the encouragement you were searching for.

It means learning the boundaries you were never taught.

It means choosing healthier relationships.

It means allowing yourself to dream without constantly convincing yourself that your dreams are too big.

And sometimes, it simply means looking at the younger version of yourself with compassion instead of embarrassment.

That child didn't know everything.

Neither did you.

You were both learning.

And now, you get the chance to become someone that younger version of you would feel safe around.

Someone who says, “You can make mistakes and still be worthy.”

Someone who says, “You don't have to earn love by being perfect.”

Someone who says, “It's okay to start again.”

Someone who says, “I believe in you.”

Maybe that's what growing up is really about.

Not becoming someone who has everything figured out, but becoming someone who can look after the person they are becoming.

You cannot go back and give your younger self the childhood, words, guidance, or reassurance you may have needed. But you can give yourself some of those things now.

And sometimes, that is where healing begins.