“This house is too quiet and empty. It needs the cheerful voice and cries of a little child. Can’t you hear all the echoes?”

“Look at this childless woman. Wanbagu! You walk around this big empty house grinning like a clown with the aura of a queen when you should be wallowing in prayers and fasting.”

“Uwu! So you can even dance. Tell me, is there a baby growing in that flat tummy of yours already?”

“You can never trust all these girls of nowadays. What if she had misused contraceptives and done too many abortions in the past? How would we know?”

“I don’t blame you. I blame my son for tolerating your gutter behaviour. Ish!”

I had endured all of those head-on confrontations and snide remarks with a calm heart. Not anymore. “Mama is coming by weekend. I’m sorry but I can’t tolerate your mother and her excessiveness. We’ll burn this house down if she comes over. Mzamber, I can’t have two of them over at the same time.”

My husband said nothing and I didn’t see her till my mother left the house two months later. Her stay was brief but good for the children. When my mother-in-law came, she was a changed woman. “Wan wam u a doom shima” she sang at the top of her voice like a parrot trying to announce to its owners of its existence. Shocked, I stood at the door, not moving or saying a word. I didn’t know who this stranger was.

In a blink of an eye, my mother-in-law had me in her arms, squeezing me ever so gently. “My beautiful daughter! Look at you, you have eye bags on your face! Not getting much sleep I presume? Have you been pressing your stomach with hot water? Are you eating well? You know the ahina would want more food so you need to eat more too. Not to worry, I’m here now. Shughun, nyor ker. Come inside.”

She went on and on, not giving me time to respond. Suddenly, I’d become the favourite daughter-in-law. My husband was most elated by his mother’s sudden change. I already knew her true colours. But I appreciated her enthusiasm and willingness to let me rest while she and Shughun did everything in the house. I didn’t need a housemaid but my mother-in-law wouldn’t hear of it. And I’m low-key glad she insisted on my keeping the little girl.

Even after my mother-in-law left, Shughun stayed. She was very hardworking and respectful. I still don’t know where that old woman got her from. When Doo and Soo were old enough to be enrolled in school, Shughun was enrolled too. My husband used to drive them to school every day and head to work afterwards. If he was running late, I used to take them.

The day I became childless again was one of those days where you’re bored and filled with general malaise. But you’re a housewife so you can’t let your emotions get the best of you. You’ve got a family to take care of. Soo cried throughout his bath time that morning and his sister took over on the drive to their school. I was used to their sudden outbursts so I bribed them with the promise that I’d bake them a cake by the time they got back from school. That placated them.

While I kneaded my dough at home, my heart also felt like it was being kneaded in my rib cage. I wasn’t enthusiastic about making the cake or even my day. When I got a call from the proprietor while the chocolate and vanilla cake was in the oven, I automatically sensed that something was wrong. It was exactly 2:05pm. School had closed five minutes before.

Here’s how the story goes. My husband had gone to pick up the children as usual but he was on a business call so he didn’t cross the road to get the children immediately. While Shughun waited with Soo and Doo beside her, my children spotted their father’s car and took off in his direction. Not looking left or right. The screeching sounds of tyres and my children’s screams and shrieks from onlookers is what made my husband look up. But on the black and hot tarred road lay the bodies of my children. Bloodied. Lifeless. Unmoving.